So yesterday this happened, followed swiftly by the general discovery of this having happened, followed moments later by College Humor taking credit en masse like insurgents from a cave. Officials deny the massive prank had anything to do with the outcome, but I’d wager the results would be quite different if they removed votes that came via the site. Not that we’d have better plates in two years or anything.
The plates, which vertically read “NEERASKA” (but don’t worry because it says “NEBRASKA” again right fucking next to it) was designed “professionally” by a dude or lady at the manufacturer of the materials that are used to make license plates. This is exactly the place I want my artistic representations of the state I call home because all of the most creatively talented and inspired artists work in the office of a metal shop.
The government response has been Political Sidestepping 101, with officials spouting platitudes such as “You can’t please everyone” and “nobody ever likes the license plate designs” coming from either the Gov’nor himself or the woman in charge of the situation, though I would posit the following:
I you gave everyone you know a present every year, but that present was always you kicking them in the nuts, you may come to believe “Well people just don’t like presents.”
While I don’t think the state would ever eliminate voting, they certainly could commission actual artists to deliver the selections the voters have to choose from, ensuring that any winning design would have actual artistic merit, and while no, it may not please everyone, it also won’t make us look like a bunch of idiots when we go on a road trip. I would be happy to spearhead a subcommittee to select these artists, Mr. Governor, and my door is always open to you.